Time to Give Up

I want to try to express this while my feelings are still raw.  Sad, disappointed, surprised, feeling like I’ve failed and truly bad for them.  See, one of my couples broke up.  I invest my heart and my soul into my work, I stay on the phone hours past the time that I know I should go to bed, pouring everything I have into every carefully weighed word I advise to individuals I work with to try to enable them to succeed.  To give them the lessons that I have only learned from years of life experiences, my own and those of the people I have set up.  To save them from the mistakes of youth that I myself made as well as others I’ve coached.  Because I feel that if they’re still asking, on the other end of the line, hanging onto my every word, because that may be the lesson or the message they need to learn to get them from where they are to where they desperately dream they should be, then I should keep talking, thinking and keep analyzing and trying to solve and save them.  But actually, this time, I didn’t.  I gave up.  And that was the right answer.  It wasn’t Bashert, it wasn’t meant to be.  It was a form of love, but not true love.  Maybe infatuation.  They’d made their decision.  I am truly shocked, I never worried about them (and trust me there are couples I’ve really worried about), it just wasn’t meant to be, despite how smooth the courtship was to this point.  But when they called me, without truly knowing why, I just knew it was over, and there was actually nothing left to say.  @nytimes #thematchmakerdiaries #jewishwedding #shidduch #bashert #breakup #boyfriend #girlfriend #relationshipgoals #relationships #love #sad #heartbroken #failure